Hey Jimmy Choo Readers! WOWE was the bachelor was a HOT mess! But lets get started

We start off with the ladies in their new digs. Chris looking ravishing in a plum striped shirt, explains the “rules” of the bachelor even though these girls obviously know how this game works. The date card is read and Christina states this is her first date with her future husband… uh huh red flag alert! Jake comes in and picks up his ladies in a stretch escalade! ohhh look at the bachelor stepping it up! They walk into a gorgeous hotel and model rozlyn says she will be “workin for that rose” uh huh hunny you have been working A LOT! FABULOUS Hal comes out and explains that they will be taking pictures for instyle! The girls go get fancied up and Christina starts to freak out… literally, maybe it was the princess laya hair do she was sporting. Rozlyn starts off and of course knocks it out of the park. While Rozlyn is showing everyone her “cha cha” the other girls are getting drunk. All the girls do a great job, and Christina is the last one up. Jake notices her sweaty armpits, I mean nervousness and immediately goes in for the rescue. awwwww! Then Christina goes into a fantasy world and pretends she is Cinderella for a moment and then snaps back to reality.. well kind of

Next up all the ladies head pool side, drinks in hand. Jake immediately pulls Gia off to the side. Side note-she has gorgeous hair! then… que sex music… bow chicka wow wow. Ashleigh walks up in a bikini and steals Jake away. So of course he has to change…. whats behind curtain number one BOB… oh its a dork with muscles.. oh i mean JAKE! 🙂 They head to the pool, legs intertwined and of course party is crashed when all the girls show up in Bikinis. Chrisitina of course, is still freaking out. Back at the fort, the table of doom arrives with a note and a black box. The note card doesnt have a name but the girls are more concerned with the bling that came with it. Well we head back over to the group date and Christina and Jake are sitting alone talking. Well Christina went on a drunk rampage full of songs and hand motions, so so sad. Then whats behind curtain number two BOB….a lying cheating stick with boobays….SCORE! haha : ) While Jake and Rozlyn head up to the roof top, Christina goes and takes a shot. No surprise here, but Rozlyn and Jake make out. Jake tells Roz to hold on and he takes the Elevator down to go pick up the rose. When Christina sees this, she takes yet another shot. haha. Oh and then starts the suspense music, Rozlyn explains how she is not caddy and but she isnt used to beating other women…. SURE. Jake meets her and :::squeal::: will you except this rose.DOH! Bad move dude.

DING DONG… time to find out who gets the bling(for the day) and drum roll.. its ALI! So Ali slips on a canary dress(seems to be a trend with her) Jake shows up on his bike and picks up the beauty. Side note.. this girl is SO natural, i mean half of this date she has her hair thrown up and it looks gorgeous. My sister said it perfectly last night “if I did that people would ask us if she was sick or if I had not slept in a few days!” haha she can work that natural look! So Jake spills the beans that he is taking her up in an airplane. Now this is the girl that is terrified of flying. But she overcomes her fears and loves it…… then I thought the Bachelor couldnt any more cheesey and the wings of love starts playing.. onnnn the wings of LOOOOVE the two of us flying highhhhhh! oh my word! Jake lands and there is a fancy car awaiting the two of them. They go for a ride and pull up to a polo field….. oh but look, is that a table, food, and wine? They sit down and talk and Ali rattles off her bucket list full of guys that start with the letter J. Not your typical first date chatter but it was kinda cute.

Back at the house the girls find out who gets the last date and who doesnt get a date at all. Michelle doesnt get a date…. ok this had to be planned. The crazy girl, doesnt get a date? Uh huh, DRAMA! Let’s get back to the cute couple, of course Jake gives Ali the rose and they have a pretty darn adorable kiss. But there is more.. Chicago is there playing a private concert. Ali takes off her shoes and they run thru the field to dance. I MEAN SERIOUSLY.. how about first time in bachelor history, the guy picks the girl after the first date! They seriously are darling!

BUT we have to move on to the next group date! Time to go ride Roller Coasters ladies! They all head to Six Flags to have a day full of fun. They ride rides, flip upside down, some girls; losts their brains in the process… but back at the house. crazy melissa is packing her bags to leave, oh is it too good to be true? yes. yes it is. Back at the park Elizabeth steals Jake for some trip O time. She is stunning, but when she pulled her note out explaining that she is not going to kiss Jake until she is the final one, umm i call BS! : ) Vienna’s claws start coming out, or was it the press on nails she had in her back pocket? Man I am feisty today : ) The ladies go to a little cabana for none other than cocktails! Vienna pulls Jake aside for some big secret! She spills that she had a fiance when she was 17 and she broke it off. Then the guy went and got married a month later. Well Vienna ran off and got eloped to some guy she barley knew a month after that… is Vienna’s last name SPEARS? Brittany’s long lost cousin! : ) Well in the middle of the tear fest, Ashley comes up with margaritas! Perfect timing haha. Ashley has a nice chat but she gets the dreaded cheek kiss.. and her crazy eyes come out! oh lord. Jake then gives the rose to my lips are sealed Elizabeth. The other girls get shipped off while Elizabeth and Jake go for a special surprise. They go sit on a bench and Elizabeth teases Jake HARDcore. yep.. they will kiss soon, for sure. Jake is saved from a serious situation below, when up above is a fireworks display! Oh and I must mention the other girls get to see them as they are driven back to the house… nice!

Cocktail party time! Rozy and her horrid hair do a “pony tail with a monkey” (Thank Claire Bear for that one!) states that she has a rose “biiiiiooootch” classy. Jake walks in and steals Ella away since it was her birthday the day before! He brings her out a cupcake..sweet. They talk about her little boy(I bet we meet him soon ; )) Next up is Tenley! She is the girl version of Jakey… hands down! She hasnt had the chance to tell Jake about her ex husband and doesnt get the chance this time either. Back in the house crazy Melissa is about to jump out of her skin. Jake steals her away and Vienna has a moment in a personal interview. I think they need to get this girl her puppy STAT! Melissa and Jake have their triple O time and then someone comes and interrupts, thats one brave girl! Next up is Chrisitina. This should be interesting, but there is something more interesting going on inside. Chris pulls Rozy outside. He confronts her about her “inappropriate behavior” with a staffer. Chris is almost in tears! Geez buddy, was your best buddy that got fired? Roz thinks it should be noone’s business.. really? REALLY? So Rozy is basically kicked off the show. They send her, security guard in tow, back to the house to pack her bags. She walks in and tells a few of the girls that she is leaving. Next is to tell the bad news to Jake. Jake is disappointed but all he wants is his rose back! haha. he really did say that! So the girls are trying to figure out what the heck is going on, and Jake takes a moment to “think”. Chris and Jake both go in to tell the girls. As they tell the girls, there are little snippets of Roz packing her bags, with a wilted rose on her night stand….. cheesyyyyy! The girls are crying and and start talking about how she had a sexual affair(which the word is she did not) But honestly, why are these girls crying? I am surprised Melissa didnt jump up and do a happy dance! Meanwhile Rozy is driven off in the Reject Van.. bye bye!

After all the DRAMA, the rose ceremony comes and Jake gets rid of one of the crazies, Christina… why he didnt get rid of Melissa… we will never know! haha

So do you want to know the scoop for the rest of the season? Do you want to know who “wins” Well I am sending you over to the same site who knew the drama with Melissa and Jason before it was aired two years ago! RealitySteve.com…. you will NEVER guess who wins… trust me

I can hardly swallow this season. It is pretty awful haha! But until next time!