Yesterday, Drew and I had our session of pre-marital counseling! About a month ago, we took this online “quiz” and then the program would compare our answers and tell us how well we know each other, what we will argue about, and how we argue. I was pretty curious to find out what the program had to say! haha. Our pastor said that it was obvious that we know a lot about each other and that we communicate well. He said that our family values were the same(according to this program) and that we have a healthy balance of leisure time between friends and ourselves. We talked about how we handle conflicts and the pastor used the skunk/turtle theory, which neither Drew or I have heard before. The turtle closes off when an argument arises, and the skunk just puts up a “stink” and is very vocal. Well I am the turtle and drew is the skunk haha. I am the emotional one and Drew is the vocal one. He talked to us about what each other needs to do to find neutral ground and he also gave us this worksheet, yes a worksheet, that had steps to resolving a conflict! First you list, or talk about the important issue that you would like to resolve, then you list how each person contributes to the problem(without blaming each other), then list the past attempts to resolve the issue, then brainstorm new ideas and discuss them while being objective, then pick a solution after each person has expressed their feelings, last agree how each person will work toward the solution. Our pastor told us, that this does seem stupid and silly, but for us to give it a try next time we have an argument.
I think pre-martial counseling is great! Marriage takes A LOT of work and some people dont realize it. Drew and I are very excited about our future together! Today is the one month mark until our wedding!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT! I will be Mrs. Gibson before I know it : )
this picture is about 2 years old? At my grandparents cabin
This picture was my 22nd birthday!
I love this post. My mentor here at work is so wise and actually helps counsel married couples at his church and my favorite quote of his is, “Couples should plan the marriage not the wedding”. Great advice and I’m glad you and Drew are doing that!!
GREAT advice!!!!! You’re completely right, it’s the marriage that counts not the wedding
I loved our marriage counseling! I felt like it helped us out so much. We had a book that our pastor gave us and we worked on it before each meeting.
How exciting that you are 1 month away from the big day! It’s going to go by fast
I also loved our marriage counseling! It was a lot of fun and we learned a lot. Sometimes I wish we could still go to it 🙂
ONE MONTH!! Woo Hoo! It will fly by!
That’s awesome! Great advice 🙂 Such a fun time, super cute pics!
This sounds exactly like our premarital counseling! I loved it and I think it prepared us for what was to come! Marriage is hard but its so fun 🙂
the marriage is totally what counts. i got to the point during the wedding planning when i just didn’t care anymore– and i do this for a living! i just wanted to be with my man.
those are great photos, btw!
We loved our pre-marital counseling as well. I think it’s so important!
The next month will FLY by! Have fun!
WOW – I can’t believe it is already a month away!! Me and Shane need a copy of that worksheet =)!
Rachel, we all need a copy of that worksheet!!!
Tara, I am so happy to hear that you guys are doing pre-marital counseling. For ours, our conselor had us each write down 10 reasons we love each other. Then he told us that when we forget why we ever fell in love, to look at that list and remember what it is we love each other for. I’m not gonna lie; we have both had to pull those lists out to remind our selves that we are not evil crapheads. Haha! Marriage is hard and knowing that is half the battle. With that being said, you and Drew are going to be happily married forever. Just be patient and work through your problems one at a time.
Ahhh!! Only 4 and a half weeks away!!!
Holy cow, there’s alot of steps on that worksheet!! LOL
One month away… Time FLIES!!!
Jarrod and I had about 5 sessions! We had homework and worksheets galore. 🙂 I still need to rsvp to your wedding-oops, and we all need to hang out again soon.
I’m both a turtle and a skunk, I think so DW has it really bad! Ha! I start out like the skunk and then end up acting like a turtle. I’m getting better at conflict, though, I gotta admit.
We did pre-marital counseling, too. Well, sorta, we eloped and then went through pre-marital counseling – ha! I really recommend it.
Mr. Guru and I did premarital counseling and loved it. It helped with a lot of things you never think about. Also, way cute pictures but I really like that dress!
hubs and i did premarital counseling too and it was a huge help. we learned a lot!
the wedding is getting near 🙂 yayyyyy