So we begin like always with how this all started. The dude got dumped by the last bachelorette. Jake goes home and ponders shirtless of his fairy tale romance he so desires. We continue to see Jakey shirtless doing manly things like cutting wood and errr jumping rope while Wings of Love is playing in the background. I am not even going to go there haha. So Jakey boy talks about how he can feel that he is going to find his wife. So he jumps on his motorcycle and goes for a ride to LA but he stops to ponder his thoughts. For a minute I thought I was watching Top Gun…I would have lost it if “You’ve lost that lovin feeling” started playing in the background, BUT THEN an airplane flew over and I came back to reality.. I was watching The Bachelor, the wings of love.. let the cheese factor begin!
On to meeting the ladies! First up is Ali, (which is my favorite before even “meeting” her) she seems pretty down to earth and a great girl but had issues with her last bf cheating on her in the middle of the night with her roommate, OUCH! Then a girl who REALLY likes the “vibrations” of her motorcycle…holy geez! Then there is pretty Tenley whose husband cheated on her. Next up is pilot Elizabeth who pretty much thinks she has it in the bag. Then the token blonde, Rozlyn. Another lady whose mom fed exed her a “sexy” wardrobe for the show…. ready for her daughter to get married? I think so. Then comes Vienna who “loves herself” and already has a child…. her dog. Then there is Mom Ella, who knows what she wants and will leave with it! oh boy! Where do they find these girls?!?
Now its time for Jakey to get ready and head over to his new bachelor pad! I guess the Bachelor is suffering from the recession too because Jakey had to “ride” himself over on his motorcycle! Jake has his first pow wow with Chris where Chris asks him how he would feel if he fell for a girl who was scared of flying… foreshadowing? : )Now its time for Jake to meet the girls and Jakey is obviously nervous which I find very endearing (awww : ))… the Limo pulls up.. some hoot and hollers (did i just say that) and the first girl comes out Rozlyn who has come equipped with her own flotation devices haha(she will be sticking around for awhile) My girl ali comes out with no voice but with a peacock feather…hmmm.. cute but odd. Another limo comes, then another.. is it just me or does Ashleigh look like Kim on the real housewives but younger?….then another. THEN the limos must have taken a long route because the girls seem to be getting more and more drunk! Channy comes out obviously tipsy, one girl brings jelly beans for everyone because she is going to WIN (did you see Jakes face!) , one girl “falls”, one girl comes out with sunglasses and another girl comes out flying! WOW this season should be pretty interesting. Time for the cocktail party, even though we ALL know these girls are already drunk.
Jake walks into the ring house and of course we hear… whoooooooooo hoooooooo! OWWWWWW! Jake being his cute self gives all the girls a pep talk. Then its time to mingle. Well looky there, he pulls my immediate fave Ali, for some one on one time(I am going to call this triple 0 time). She talks about how she is terrified of flying.. uh oh.. but Jake really likes her. BUT OF COURSE someone interrupts. She asks Jake what are his top priorities… GOD. Family and Friends… ok this guy is too good to be true! here we go.. Tipsy Channy steals Jake away and tells him that he can land on her landing strip anytime.. WOW. ummm moving on. then a girl changes into her costume… a flight attendant! Some of the girls were mad that they didnt think of that! lol . it doesnt get her anywhere because miss snowboarder steals jake away for a game of catch which turns into a football game! Jakey is soo overwhelmed! He is like a ping pong ball! Time to take charge Jake!
Chris then walks in with the first impression rose, which really is something you DONT want haha! More time with the girls. As one girl is having a dance with Jake.. one girl is having a mental breakdown… now this is the bachelor we all know. So breakdown girl goes and steals Jake mid tears to have some triple o time, perfect time eh?.. NOT.. and she lays on him a very obviously prepared speech. “I am here to fall in love with you ::blank stare:: to be your co pilot” oh boy guys, we have our first stalker! Then Chris comes out with a surprise announcement….. its Jill and Ed! Is it just me or were some of the girls more excited to see them than Jake? : ) Jill and Ed question all the girls and Jake takes that time to go meet Rozlyn. Who he finds sexy, or was he mesmerized by her cleavage?… but of course all the girls dont like her. Back to Jill and Ed.. they ask a poor girl what animal she is in bed.. WOWEE. ice breaker? Back in the house Jake is playing airplane with jelly bean girl. Is this seriously happening? :::tara pouring another glass of wine::
Tinley pulls him aside, and she seems pretty cute, she talks about her values and thennnnn they kiss. It was rather cute, endearing… but then she turns into a ball bag. Can someone please replace the vodka with water STAT!
Jake has a pow wow with “old buddies” JiliEd and then grabs the first impression rose. He grabs Tinley and gives it to her, not so surprising. Only if Jake could see that one on one footage before he made his decisions. : ) Time for Pow Wow #2 with Chris Harrison. Jake likes the flight attendant costume! GIRLS get our your costumes! haha. Then Chris brings up Ali, and how she is scared of flying! ummm told you! : )
RUMOR MILL: Someone has an affair with a producer and leaves…..NUTS!
So guys who are your favorites?!?! Do you love Jakey?
Then Chris comes out with a surprise announcement.
short sale ebook
I liked the pilot, she had balls ya know?
My pick from the get-go, the girl who played the football in the red dress. I called myself writing this down so I could tell you Tara.
Darn it, I forgot.
How about ms crying psycho getting the last rose. You know the producers made him for the drama.
Who's screwing the producer you think? I think Gia.
Also looks like Jakey Boy is another cryer like Jason. Puhlease…
These girls are crazy, their intros to Jake made me cringe! I can't wait to find out who had the affair with a producer!!
I really liked tenley, and the girl in the beautiful yellow dress who lost her voice (can't remember her name!). I think Jake is growing on me. I didn't like his cheesiness from the bachelorette, but I think I'll give him a chance this season! Don't you love that Jillian & Ed showed up, they are so cute!
An affair with a producer makes so much sense, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I thought it was an affair btwn two girls in the house! Haha, the producer affair sounds a little more reasonable!
Loved, loved, loved your recap, Tara!!! And totally cracked up at ::Tara pours another glass of wine:: LOLOL Hilarious!! I was like, she is NOT riding on his feet!!! That girl is so obnoxious, but I'm glad he picked her, she will create some awesome drama for us in the house, LOL And, the jelly bean scene was pricelss… that one girl put hers back in the basket, LOL Let the cat-fights begin!!!
My fav is also Ali. Love her, and she was so cute in that yellow dress. Tinley was alright… I thought she could have had a little more self confidence, or at least pretended to have some. But, like you said, could have been all that wine. I forget that it actually goes on all night long.
Some of those scenes were incredibly uncomfortable to watch. There was ALOT of nervousness this season. I don't remember there being so much in seasons' past.
Yes, and thank you stalker girl for coming to the show… you will entertain us so!!! haha
Can't wait for next week, and the season preview was AWESOME!!! =)
Oh yeah, forgot to say… I don't care for Elizabeth either. Not sure what it is about her, but she's not one of my favs – I agree she will be around for a while though.
OK, I keep thinking of things to say after I post, haha
That stalker girl (Michelle I think) reminded me so much of that Dr. girl on the Stork Bachelor season. "What is it, my boobs, my hair, what?!" after she got sent home and went back to confront him. OMG, that STILL cracks me up to this day!!! =)
I love your recap!! You crack me up. That Channy girl was a little much. haha I plan on blogging about my thoughts on it this evening when I get home. This season is definitely going to be interesting.
Hilarious recap Tara! I have to agree with Maggie on Michelle reminding me of the crazy doctor from the Travis Stork season. I am very curious as to who has the affair with the producer.
Ali is my favorite too!
This season is going to be rough to watch. All the over-the-top cheesiness was making me borderline nauseus last night, haha.
LOVED TENELY! She already has my vote. Jelly bean girl and yellow dress girl are ridonculous! Seriously did they need some wine to go with their cheesy lines.
I wonder how many times they praciticed talking to jake in front of a mirror! ha!
to sum them all up they seem even faker this season but that is why we watch! a train wreck waiting to happen!
I liked Tenley, Ali, the football girl ( I think she looks like Megan Fox?), and the girl that was the flight attendant. We shall see what happens!
Hi Tara!!
love your blog. I can't wait for the rest of the season of the bach. I think ali and tenley will be one of the final 3 also!
I want to ask you a question. MY boyfriend and I are coming up on our one year and it always seems like your coming up with cute ideas. Do you know of any gift ideas I could give him???
Thanks
Katie
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your recaps! I don't watch this anymore (our DVR blows up every.single.week!) but I feel like I don't miss out on anything!
Hey Katie, hope you read this.. i cant comment on your blog for some reason! Email me if you want! Taralaurengibson@gmail.com
looks like a great season!!!!
cannot wait for more!!
AH can't wait to watch it on DVR!! Loveee the recap. It will make my first episode-watching more brainless, if that is even possible. Ha!
PS. Thanks for the compliments on the shirt, girl! It's Free People from Nordstroms and I saw it at Macys the other day. Go buy it! You're allowed to, it's not a dress. ;o)
Loved your recap! I loved Tenley she was my favorite. Breakdown girl freaked me out with a capital F. Can't wait for next week.
I love Jake. He is def a big ball of cheese and I can't get enough. Now that I've said that…I really like Ali, Tenley, and the girl w/big fake boobs from Nebraska. I can't believe he kept the crazy one w/the black dress. Ali is beyond cute and Tenley seems like an exact girl version of Jake. Gia makes me sick. I'm not sure why, but I get a bad feeling. Rozalyn is giving me serious workout inspiration. She looked amazing in her dress. Gah.
I posted on The Bachelor today too! Your post was much funnier than mine, you are hilarious!
Yes, I almost fell off the sofa when Channy told him about here "landing strip!"
I haven't finished watching it but I LOVE your interpretation. Can't wait to come back and read it weekly. Thanks!
You must be sooo excited for another season…. I cant wait to hear all of your recaps! xxxoo
I cannot wait for all of this drama..I think Jake is so non drama ish that they had to bring in the most crazy girls they could find!
Wow I can't believe your prediction for the Top 3 because I love Ali and Tenley! Definitely looking forward for recaps this season!!
Love love love Jake! He's sooooo cute! I think Tenley and Ali are my faves. Gia looks like she wears dirty underwear, don't like her. I also don't like Ella the mom. Christina is a nutcase and is WAY to confident, for some reason! I agree the whole plane flying overhead is a total dork move! OMG. Can't wait for this season to unfold!
Have you heard of reality Steve? http://www.realitysteve.com – You should check him out. He has the lowdown behind this "supposed affair." 🙂
I need to watch these… haha
I work at ABC and last year there was a pool going on who would win. The Bachelor cracks me up in general!
Happy Wednesday!
Ha! Girl you are so funny!
Thanks so much for summing that up for me bc I haven't seen this yet but think I'm going to since I have heard so much gossip about it! hehe
Thanks!
Ali, Tenley, and Elizabeth are my top 3!
SOOO insane!
I just wanted to drop by and let you know there is a blog award waiting for you over at my blog 🙂 I hope you're keeping warm (and Sadie too!)
I love Ali and Tenley. I think Rozlyn has the affair…She seems mean.